I'm sorry, I honestly don't know.

I just guess I usually have a need to return people a response once they've questioned me. But if it may be that I don't know or I don't recall, it is the truth for that moment of time.

I often do remember if I am given time to think it through, but a response is better than nothing.

Silence is the perfect herald of joy: I were but little happy if I could say how much. - William Shakespeare

It may be that I can't string my words together well, but it never seems right to voice one's own emotions. I feel that no words in any language can properly reflect how one feels at that moment in time. Once you label it, once you rename it, it changes to be a story of your past, and not in it's purest form.

Memories change and grow with time. Every time you remember it, you replace your old memory with the new one you have created, replacing the unclear parts with modifications for your perfect story. It is this fear I have of re-thinking of the past which makes me distrust my memories. I may remember what you have said, but it most likely wasn't you or it most likely, wasn't exactly what you said at that moment and context of time.

I'm sorry if you have to deal with me when I do say I don't know, but I'm not afraid to admit I don't. I'm afraid to admit I am wrong.

I understand that it is hard to understand others who are unlike your self, but have learned today that the common majority of people are afraid to admit they do not know as much as I am to admit I am wrong. I do understand my friends are wonderous and never forger anything, but I do expect a degree of error in each one of us and I have learned today that I am not the only person who doesn't know.

To know and yet think we do not know is the highest attainment. Not to know and yet think we do know is a disease. - Lao-tsu

Guild Wars - Things I want

Here's my favourite character: Jin Cream

Type: Ranger, Factions, Luxon

Never really liked her name but one day I'll remake her again. But I'm still going to spoil her with things that she'll love.

Norn Armour

Incendiary Arrows

Full: For 3...13 seconds, targets struck by your arrows are interrupted and set on fire for 1...3 seconds.


Signet of Capture: Casses Flameweb (Ring of Fire - Mission)

Campaign: Prophecies Profession: Ranger Attribute: Wilderness Survival Type: Elite Preparation

Energy: 5 Activation: 2 Recharge:24

Lurker (Crab)

Level(s): 5
Location:
Red Version - Pongmei Valley, in the Am Fah stronghold between Maatu Keep and Boreas Seabed.
Blue Version - In every explorable area in the Jade Sea.
White Version - In some areas in Eye of the North.

Black Wolf

Location: I saw one on the way to Asura from Eye of the North.
Level(s): 5

Black Widow

Location: I saw one on the way to Asura from Eye of the North.
Level(s): 20, Already Hearty, Elder, or Dire
Inflict piercing damage

Black Widows spawn in the Underworld next to a Reaper (except the Reaper of the Labyrinth) after the quest for that reaper has been fulfilled. The easiest reaper to free and to perform the quest for is the Reaper of the Forgotten Vale and his quest is "Wrathful Spirits".

Koahm's Flatbow

Unique item dropped by Koahm the Weary in the The Shattered Ravines.

Piercing Dmg: 15-28 (req. 9 Marksmanship)
Lengthens Crippled duration on foes by 33% (Stacking)
Energy +5
Health +30

Linked attribute(s): Marksmanship
Damage type(s): Piercing
Dropped by: oahm the Weary
Skin: Skull Flatbow (dyed white)

Undergradute Courses

Yesterday we had a career's day where they shoved us into a hall blind folded with no real instructions and figuring out we were supposed to talk to the people at the stands. It turned out that they were uni representatives or other random people like woolworths. I talked to a few people there, but I still think we should have given us more time. They pretty much told us how to get there and back. Nothing about what was supposed to happen. Pretty much like a production line. Well, I'm close to deciding what to do instead or after my gap year.

I really want to try out for Design computing in Sydney uni. I don't know what other courses I should try out for as well. But if all else fails, I'm trying out for BillyBlue then JMC and CATC. I don't want to mention the last one cause it's so bad I don't know if I should try. Well, I want to scan in the pamphlets I got, but I doubt my sister will ever make it work, and the only other scanner is a roll through (similar to faxing), not a flat bed. U can't really roll a book through that.

Undergraduate Courses

#	Course	University	UAI
1.	Design Computing	Sydney Uni	87.25
	Study Length: 3 years or 4 years with Honors Campus: The Faculty of Architecture, Design and Planning Where: Camperdown/Darlington Campus Assumed Knowledge: Mathematics Major Studies: Digital Design Studio, Design Programming, Interaction Design Studio, 3D Modelling
2.	Digital Media	UNSW	87.10
	Study Length: 3 years Campus: College of Fine Arts Campus Where: Paddington, corner of Oxford St and Greens Rd Assumed Knowledge: None Major Studies: Digital Imaging, 3D Modelling and Animation, Sound, Interactive Media, Video
3.	Bachelor of Design in Industrial Design	UTS	83.15
	Study Length: 4 years Campus: Faculty of Design, Architecture and Building Where: City Campus, 15 Broadway, Ultimo, NSW 2007 Work Load: Generally 4 full days per week Reccomended Yr 12 Studies: VA, Art History, Design & Technology, English Major Studies: huge list Interesting Electives: Photography, Public Communication, Advertising, Project Management
4.	Bachelor of Design in Visual Communication	UTS	95.90
	Study Length: 4 years Campus: Faculty of Design, Architecture and Building Where: City Campus, 15 Broadway, Ultimo, NSW 2007 Reccomended Yr 12 Studies: VA, Art History, Design & Technology, Advanced English Major Studies: huge list

Other Colleges

#	Course	College	UAI
1.	Communication Design	Billy Blue	60+
	Study Length: 2 years Campus: Billy Blue College of Design Where: North Sydney Requirements: UAI 60+, Submission design portfolio (6-10 pieces), interview
2.	Department of Digital Animation	JMC Acamemy	N/A
	Study Length: 2 years Where: Sydney - Surry Hills

Tired of hearing an echo

I've had no energy today, I feel bad since I've not been enthusiastic for my Design teacher's class for a long time. Just ignore the fact that it's afternoon class ending at six.

I'm just way too tired today. It's amazing how many times I've become sick of being over looked. Nothing really makes sense, but together, they just make me feel glum. I've also been planning something special for a friend for a long time now but it seems to irregular to predict. I just can't be bothered to follow up with anything. Well, over looked and mis-judged. Well, most often underestimated -.-

It could be all in my head. And if it isn't, I wish it was. Maybe it's because I look absent minded. Most of the time I actually am. Or is it the fact that absent minded looking people could be thinking about something else? For example the person who thought the person was absent minded is actually looking for certain reactions. And if these reactions or responses aren't met, then they are obviously absent minded.

How about I just don't care. That sounds good.

I just don't want to be here. Like the Northern Beaches is the best place to live -.- What's the point of having friends if they don't even know you. The first thing I'm going to do when I get my P's is drive to Plumpton, visit the old duck park and enjoy the rest of the day there. I don't care who wants to come, I'm only letting one person.

Web comic / drawings

As you all already know, I've re-started the group drawings. For the newer members of our group, I tried to draw everybody in our group in year seven. This was the time when we only had girls in our group, and we sat outside the TAS block.

Reasons I ended the project were that I felt there was too much pressure, as in, I may exaggerate certain aspects on people and I may upset them. Often in pictures of groups, it's customary to give different people roles. I fear my act of labelling people may change who they really are. Back then I didn't really know people too well anyway so all I knew about them was what they presented themselves to be to an acquaintance.

This time, as an on-looker representing my views on what the group is, I believe I have a right to express my opinions. Although this will be accessible to the general public, I give privilege to the people involved to have exclusive access to more. I understand people may distaste the way they have been drawn or conveyed, but I will allow their input in the designing process as much as I can.

I understand there is demand for this project to be completed, but if too many difficulties arise I will boycott the project. Please don't pester me too much after this stage, I will most likely be grumbling and moping.

Anyways, once the scanner gets working, I'll begin uploading the comics. But editing, retouching and character designs need to be first and Emozlie's my number one editor.

Check announcements for updates.

Happy Mother's Day

Mum was very happy this year. It feels like that this year, first for a long time, our family was closer than normal. Mum and dad are both talking to each other like friends, and mum's beginning to enjoy dad's odd jokes again, not that I can say I understand them.

Mum has recently began walking along the beach every week so I got her dumbells. 2 one kilo ones to also work her cariovascular system. I hope that mum likes them.

Dinner wasn't entirely to plan today though, mum wasn't sapposed to cook. Because dad's never really booked it in the first place, the place was full. Instead we'll celebrate Mother's Day with food next weekend.

Hopefully it would be sunny one day for mum to try out her new dumbells.

And even if it's mother's day, it felt like a better family day than what we've tried to have, and I wish the best for mum and dad because they deserve it.

Home Drift

I can't help having a feeling to be home. Not to go home, but be at home, and not the one I eat and sleep in. The one where there isn't any more troubles. Where my parents used to take us on holidays. To their home town where the grass is kept long because it's natural and the open sewers remind you that it's safe: where ever the stench reaches.

It might have been a poor place, possibly corrupt and primitive for many who live here, but in my deceptive memories, the essence it has with it's banana farms, wide parks, open cultures, mysterious foods and trails and the many different personalities in the large family reels me in my dreams, even if it's still day.

I remember the family home, fit to house more than ten members, modest, but the perfect heirloom. My uncle kept a mini-tree in the front garden. Though it may have been a mini-tree, it was a very tall for it's size, it had a table for itself with all it's inhabitants. There were swings, a few houses, frogs and a person with a wheel barrow. It had it's own mossy grass spreading across it's miniature world, serene, it felt as if it was his dream for a better life.

The garden was roughly concrete, with the common hose attached to the house and high tiled walls with a possible blue pigments. And for Chinese New Year, they would hang a piece of lettuce from the balcony above for the lion dancers to catch. I remember mum saying that they don't do house calls in Australia and that Malaysia celebrated almost all the culture's holidays. Even the neighbours who weren't chinese were invited to watch and we all played with crackle things. They were tiny and had little fire power, but when you threw then to the ground, a snap sound would spark. Jocelin was the youngest and was only five back then. You could see her amazement she had in the reflections of her eyes, the wondrous world, the sheer mechanics of the sparkler and how on earth could the boys be so stupid to let a fire cracker fall in the neighbour's garden. Slight angry they were.

The next best memory was the smell of paper on fire, for grandmother and everybody else they were sending them to. I remember my aunty teaching me in a green dining room no one uses because it's too small how to fold paper gold lumps, what they used for currency back then. Along with other paper goods, we would burn them and they would fly to grandmother and other people. Also in the dining room were two turtles in a container. They were the most content turtles I've ever seen even if they were the only turtles I've ever seen. Above was a look down from the second storey. The bathroom was to the right and the room closest to the road the ladies of my family shared with Aunty Mary and Jocelin. Uncle sing lee ?don't know how to spell? also tried to teach us how to make some hanging things. I never liked it because it was boring and I think I made him upset.

Down stairs was also another family. I think the mother was my mum's sister, but the children had great lego. Loved playing with them, and the lego, but I don't think their parents like me much. The living room was a wide and had a warm colour, nice oranges and yellows. I remember there was one couch that always had plastic on it. It has wooden, weaved arms and nice patterned cushions. There was also a weaved rocking chair, and one of those chairs that u can lean back and relax. I'm not sure what it was made of but I remember it was colourful and it felt like those plastic clothes lines that you can scroll in and out. Their television was huge equipped with every entertainment needs such as a playstation and a VCR (Karaoke machine).

But I have to say the best thing, other than the food, was the park across the road. It always smelt good. It was like it had just rained, which was probably true since it rains every third day. There was also an open sewer running around it, like a mote and a shady plank of wood, a mighty bridge, which you must be qualified to step onto - kids only - . Besides the fact that if you were an adult you could step across. Open sewers are common there and even if I didn't enjoy the smell then, I miss it now. I've experienced smelling rotten decay and smile, reminiscing of my past. The park was a soccer field with large hollow concrete cylindars you could climb into on one end.

If you walked further up, you would uncover an iron casted, swinging bench which although was white, was also tinted with stories; secret only to whome who knew them. Hidden in the fresh trees of the tropics it sat there, staring over the field where generations played soccer. It was marvelous how secure it was, even though it looked quite old and weathered, it was encaved in the protection of the branches around it, holding it from the evolving world. But I wonder, wonder if it would still be there the next time I go back.

I remembered all this today,

From a song by Younha, Home Girl

Time, age and growth, the alien intervention

Many people have questioned the possibility of alternate universes, thus assuming there are multiple universes sharing different attributes making each of them unique as an individual of a human society.

Under this assumption, what if only our universe has the concept of time, thus including the act of aging, growth, the inevitable reality of death. This may not mean that other "universes" do not have progression. If the theory of Lamark were true, where the next generation would inherit acquired characteristics of the previous, then their development of their species in such a universe would be exponential. Imagine holding all the knowledge, ability, skill, and physio of all your previous ancestors.

And, for all you alien theorists out there, what if another species from a universe with little form of biological development or progression decided to conquer our own to strengthen themselves and evolve. Now, if they had done better research, they might have chosen Lamark's universe instead, but hey, we were easier to pick on. And then, after bulking themselves up slowly, they'll go to the world that seems to be on steroids.

Yaha, but what will we do now when there's an alien invasion of "things" still in their primitive body. Well they wont be. Since the time for them to travel to earth would be enough for them to evolve slightly, they wont be as primitive, but this would depend on their advances in travel technology. Ok, so now we must prepare for an invasion of a lightly evolved primitive alien community.

Since, as humans, we think so highly of ourselves, we must present how generous and understanding we are. We'll either blow them up or intergrate them into our society and share our goods and services, and laws, and introduce new taxes on out-world immigration.

Now that we have swindled them out of all they can give us, they have evolved to be stronger, smarter and just more human than we are from suffering under our own selfish and racist sovereign. They will now have the right to take what was ours from us, and we shall guiltily be fallen into the dust for our own reasons of greed and dominance. We shall also remember we have not evolved, because our own reliance to technology and our need to keeping every cell society.

They will stay here, learning from our mistakes and tragedies improving our world, restoring our flora and fauna, well, what's left of it, and renewing the life in our dusty, glowing soils.

After improving our world, and their own species, they will finally expand their colony, some returning home to teach and educate of new far off worlds, and others as warriors sent to Lamark's world, judging if their inhabitants have cared for their world, and then collonising it peacefully, eventually assimilating each of them - if it's possible.

Now, the Lamarkians are no easy feat, they are extraudinarily strong, smart and share multiple personalities within each of them so these new humans need to have prepared more than substancial evolution to challenge them.

Now I can't say how well the Lamarkians are, but I can say, this is only an simulation of the removal of our residency. It is not real, and neither should you believe it. Now if you wish to prevent such a happening, take care of our environment, mother nature and take care of your family and friends, community. We only need what we need and we must learn the difference between chocolate and bread.

Cotton balls of ears

I think I have a bad tendency into turn issues to my issues. Well, even if I don't yell it to the group. They say the silent ones are the most dangerous. I just feel that, time and time again, it's hard for people to listen to me. For most of the time, large group convos are moving so fast and it's like trying to jump onto a speeding train.

I know it's not entirely their fault since, whenever I can make them listen to me, I just choke or stumble on all my words. Or I can usually speak normally with people talking in the background, so all I need to do in public events is bring an ambient of rowdy students. Still, I've only realised recently that no matter how much more better this group is than others in the school, they can be an unbearable bunch.

Sometimes I feel like I can help people a lot, where in someway, my so called unorthadox advice is useful. Most of the time they work, well, for me. Maybe it's because I don't seek help from them in the first place, or maybe it's because I'm no longer in any of their classes any more. And not everyone is there at lunch times.

This feeling I have could be selfish, where I am more concerned about contributing to the group, rather than helping my friends. But sometimes, I feel like maybe I could fix the problem faster.

I had merged into the group once. One of my friends was being cut off a lot but I did nothing to let people listen to them. The worst thing was that I also contributed. It felt horrible, like there was a rush of competition on who can get out the most witty and valuable comments in before others. Instead of a survival, it was a race of the fittest with the ability to stomp on others. I shall never take or represent a role such as this ever again.

---

Gaaah, whatever, oneday I will have to start looking out for myself. I always have to wait for people to speak before I do, and when they finish, someone else barges in. There are obvious clues of a line there, hey. Maybe I need a face for myself, paid at minimum wage. All they need to do is speak, and I'll quickly hand notes of what to say.

And there's another thing. Everybody's looking for people with leadership quality skills. Come on, is that realistic? If everybody in the world were leaders, nuclear missiles would be flying through the air. I believe that people should be looking for people with group cohesion, "quality" skills. Where one can change for different circumstances, swap leadership roles. Having the ability to not only speak out, but to listen to others, have good relationship skills, u know the basics of social living. Not for the production line of Ford.

Dream Job

Wow I found a Webdesign "firm" in sydney! Maybe I can send in an application to work there next year. I am so excited now, I should have done my MDP as a website.

William Website Development Sydney

They're looking for Graphic Webdesigners. The only problem is that the way they advertise it isn't very inviting - they used dolalr signs, and it sounds like they're in inclosed skyrisers, but North Sydney is a great place! Much more quieter than the city.

Preferred skills:

• Photoshop, Illustrator --> Illustrator I'm not familiar with, I better install it and start practicing!
• CSS --> All good there!
• Flash --> I don't like flash. I guess I must learn properly.
• Ability to work fast and to deadline --> heh heh. I enjoy having a comfortable and healthy environment thank you

Experience: At least 2 years experience in Web design. --> Hands Down!

An online portfolio or attached creative examples are compulsory to be considered for this position. --> I think I need more than just my personal site.

To be eligible to apply for this position you must have an appropriate Australian or New Zealand work visa.


This will give me a great opportunity to learn new things! Maybe along side university, I can also learn asp.net, javascript, ajax.net, xml/xslt, seo and flash. And *cough* their site has too much flash *cough* Enter it if you will, but for an Australian resitent who has minimal internet capability, you can try caching it from google search.

Yoghurt Chocolate Idea!

Ok, this entire thing is under the assumption that no one else has invented it yet. I'm afraid of googling it because then they can use my google search and sell it to big companies. Am I paranoid or what! And if anybody doesn't know what yoghurt is, it's also known as yogurt...

Alright, my idea is anything associated with solid yoghurt and other healthy alternatives you can have instead of chocolate. Yoghurt is one of my experiments for now. Imagine Yoghurt easter eggs, yoghurt bars, you can even have fruit, nuts, fruits and nuts in it!

Because yoghurt is white, it would look similar to white chocolate, but better for you. Here's a picture of white chocolate:

Drool* I feel like making some yoghurt right now! So this is an example of a mould!

Oh it's going to be so yummy. Hmm... need to find out how to make it and find out someone to help me market it. Yummy yummy yummy!!!

How to Make

Oh no! It isn't healthy at all --> ehow.com Ingredients:

• 250 grams pkg cream cheese
• 5 cups of icing sugar
• 1 tsp vanillia
• 1/4 cup plain yoghurt

Instruments:

• double boiler
• tongs or dipping fork
• waxed paper or cookie racks

Method:

1. Soften cream cheese and place it in the top pot of the double boiler and add the icing sugar and yogurt. Put just enough water in the bottom of the double boiler that it won't touch the underside of the top pot, and bring the water to a gentle boil.
   
   
2. Put the top pot in place and stir gently and continuously until the cream cheese mixture is melted and well blended. Stir in the vanilla. Turn the heat off, but leave the double boiler on the burner so the water remains hot but not boiling.
   
   
3. With tongs or a dipping fork, pick up one piece at a time of the dried fruit, nuts or candy that you want to coat, and dip them in the melted mixture. Place them on wax-paper lined cookie sheets, or on wire cookie cooling racks. --> this step is replaced by line chocolate moulds/pour in chocolate moulds.
   
   
4. Once the yogurt coated pieces are cool and dry, store them between layers of waxed paper in covered tupperware-type containers. --> I might want to take them out of the moulds. Just a thought.
   
   

* From Step 2 on, you must work quickly and don't let the melted mixture get too hot or it will thicken and burn before you can get the pieces coated.

I shall follow this warning... it's very good of them to.

Another Version: Yogurt Coating From Barry Farm Foods

For the general idea of it's nutritional value, I found a processed industrial version. [picture]

Ingredients:

Sugar, partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil, yogurt powder (cultured whey protein in concentrate, cultured skim milk and yogurt culture), non fat dry milk solids, reduced mineral, whey powder, artificial colors, soya lecithin (an emulsifier), natural flavor, salt, artificial flavour. -- I don't understand.

Nutritional facts: Serving ~ 1 oz

Amount per serving
Calories	149
Calories from fat	71
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 7.8g	12%
Saturated Fat 7.6g	38%
Cholesterol 1mg	0%
Sodium 22mg	1%
Total Carbohydrate 18.5g	6%
Dietary Fiber 0g	0%
Protein 1.1g
Percent values are based on a 2,000 calorie per day diet. Your daily values may differ.
Additional Information 47.5% of calories from Fat 49.5% from Carbohydrates 2.9% from Protein

From the Choice foods for Kids criteria, this is still unhealthy. Total fat (ok), saturated fat (A lot), Sodium (little)

Yoghurt Drops

I finally searched up "yogurt drops" in google and found out it's actually animal food *cries*. I like them too!

Missing yoghurt treats

Do you know those yummy yoghurt coatings on either the top, bottom or all over a muesli bar?

They once sold them in little balls! They were sold in the confectionery aisle with all the other junk. I miss them so much, they were so yummy. From my un-reliable memory, they were better or a great substitute for chocolate. Now-a-days, when I do get a muesli bar, I usually try to pick off the yoghurt tops and eat them separately.

The frightening thing was that they were replaced a few years ago with "chewy yogurts" for a snack. With replaced I mean, removed the normal yoghurts! *cries* I feel like I should have kept buying them so it seemed like they still had a market, but I didn't have pocket money back then.

For anyone's sake if their is a similar product out there that's yoghurt and also has a chocolate texture, please tell me! I will support that company and I advise them to sell them in those huge chocolate blocks like normal chocolates as a health initiative. <--- I don't remember if they're healthy in the first place, but if they're not, then I don't advise that.


Not related, but I'm also quite happy KitKats are making their way back. Yay for KitKats, even though they don't taste too great in large sizes. This can be seen as a plus since you would eat them in smaller portions.

Following a fluke

My favourite sport in the world would have to be long jump. The sprint for your life running into the final jump into the air, throwing all you can across a strip of sand with the shear hope you land forward, but all is forgotten as the exilleration flies through you.

This I love to do, not that I was any good at it, similar to high jump. I'm around one and a half meters tall, which is around the average height of a full grown year 8 at the end of the year, and I have no chance in sport what so ever since I've destroyed my bones already, but I still feel like I want to try for, or at least train for competetive field events like this. My life so far, which may seem young still, has always been a failure but I have always held of two things that I achieved myself - with slightly exagerated memories of how I felt. To understand this, you need to know I came from a migrant chinese background where I am the first generation in Australia. Hence tuition in maths and maybe english is so much more important than playing soccer, hockey or basketball with other children after school. Thus, all my acedemic achievements were only possible if I had someone holding my hand. But when I did long jump and high jump in year 6, I proved to myself that I was better than just a monkey with a pencil (soon to be monkey with a cigarette and a typing machine). I've kept those third ribbons ever since.

I am so un-co now-a-days. I swear I could have cleared the height of 1 m when I was in year 6, but the irony, all those years I kept trying and never making the top 4, I did without even making the bar. Yes, today I made it into the zone, but only on default. I wish our school would let us train, teach us how to compete in field events again, it would prevent so much injuries that do happen, and no one in the older grade remember how they are performed. I guess out school thought it wasn't important for seniors to participate. I should have taken the hint.

Sometimes I feel like taking the gap year and focusing on myself physically. Get a physio, and learn a sport. And maybe I can have another chance at long jump and high jump. Have a propper trainner and learn the right techniques. Maybe meet new people and learn how to manage a healthier lifestyle other than sedentary.

I am still glad, I finally made it to Zone. I wish I can perform better and see more, but this would be my stop, since I can't make it over 1 meter. For long jump, I will never be able to enjoy ever again in my life unless I try to pursue it during my gap year. My school years are slowly ending with the last swimming carnival, the last athletic carnival, and the last cross country.

Reminiscent memories

On the walk from the Spit bridge to Manly last Sunday, I was talking to my friend and he jolted my memory of a theory I cooked up when I was in primary school.

The Theory:

What if, during our lifetime, we are recording everything, every second, all our senses in the exact way we experienced them. We can see this in a sense that our eyes are a camera, our ears microphones, and our smell, touch, taste, and others sensory not yet encaptured into technology. And after we die, we watch it all again and evaluate what we have done.

I guess many people facing death would mentally go through the same process, but this was a time in my life where I was considering if heaven and hell existed, wondering about different religions. And if it comes down to our own judgement if we deserved to enter into which destination, or in a moral sense, if we can prove to ourselves if we are good and true enough. To many, it is not just what we see is the cut off, but if we've healed our wounds and if we feel strong enough.

There was also during the development phase, I would purposely blink my eyes at a sight I enjoyed, in the slight chance I would be able to capture and emphasise that moment. I also didn't have a camera then so it was a good idea to do so.

In a slight humanistic point of view, I thought it was more our own duty to determine if we deserve a rest per say and it was to our own responsibility to fullfill our life in the best of our ability for it to be valuable. Some people may find this by completing accomplishments or fullfilling goals, or just one in particular. The idealised magical words we often hear this in was The Meaning of Life, which never really made sense due to the way in which our media has presented it, something only achievable in Sharingri-La or a Utopian society.

Because I was so young at this time I thought, to keep it safe, I'll just try to be as good as I can. This failed sooo many times, but you can understand how annoying certain people can be *cough* siblings *cough*. Now I know why I could never find the Santa Clause.

Looking back and reflecting on my younger self, I feel like I've lost by creativity. I came up with all sorts of ideas, many I couldn't write down or was just too embarrased to say, but I don't seem to have the talent or skill anymore, as if it's been soaked or contaminated by todays society's views, education and all other forms of information they force onto you, ripping the freedom of your own thoughts from "manisfesting".

And they ask you, "any questions?" as if they have not beein conditioning you your entire life.

Time to disarm

Havent had a blog in years, last time it was in MSN spaces and that took too much internet to actually load. I've finally finished my site as well and I have a few projects coming up but I doubt I will be able to work on them this year since it's the final year of High School (HSC)

This term is my second hardest challenge yet and I don't plan to miss it!