Cotton balls of ears
I think I have a bad tendency into turn issues to my issues. Well, even if I don't yell it to the group. They say the silent ones are the most dangerous. I just feel that, time and time again, it's hard for people to listen to me. For most of the time, large group convos are moving so fast and it's like trying to jump onto a speeding train.
I know it's not entirely their fault since, whenever I can make them listen to me, I just choke or stumble on all my words. Or I can usually speak normally with people talking in the background, so all I need to do in public events is bring an ambient of rowdy students. Still, I've only realised recently that no matter how much more better this group is than others in the school, they can be an unbearable bunch.
Sometimes I feel like I can help people a lot, where in someway, my so called unorthadox advice is useful. Most of the time they work, well, for me. Maybe it's because I don't seek help from them in the first place, or maybe it's because I'm no longer in any of their classes any more. And not everyone is there at lunch times.
This feeling I have could be selfish, where I am more concerned about contributing to the group, rather than helping my friends. But sometimes, I feel like maybe I could fix the problem faster.
I had merged into the group once. One of my friends was being cut off a lot but I did nothing to let people listen to them. The worst thing was that I also contributed. It felt horrible, like there was a rush of competition on who can get out the most witty and valuable comments in before others. Instead of a survival, it was a race of the fittest with the ability to stomp on others. I shall never take or represent a role such as this ever again.
Gaaah, whatever, oneday I will have to start looking out for myself. I always have to wait for people to speak before I do, and when they finish, someone else barges in. There are obvious clues of a line there, hey. Maybe I need a face for myself, paid at minimum wage. All they need to do is speak, and I'll quickly hand notes of what to say.
And there's another thing. Everybody's looking for people with leadership quality skills. Come on, is that realistic? If everybody in the world were leaders, nuclear missiles would be flying through the air. I believe that people should be looking for people with group cohesion, "quality" skills. Where one can change for different circumstances, swap leadership roles. Having the ability to not only speak out, but to listen to others, have good relationship skills, u know the basics of social living. Not for the production line of Ford.
I know it's not entirely their fault since, whenever I can make them listen to me, I just choke or stumble on all my words. Or I can usually speak normally with people talking in the background, so all I need to do in public events is bring an ambient of rowdy students. Still, I've only realised recently that no matter how much more better this group is than others in the school, they can be an unbearable bunch.
Sometimes I feel like I can help people a lot, where in someway, my so called unorthadox advice is useful. Most of the time they work, well, for me. Maybe it's because I don't seek help from them in the first place, or maybe it's because I'm no longer in any of their classes any more. And not everyone is there at lunch times.
This feeling I have could be selfish, where I am more concerned about contributing to the group, rather than helping my friends. But sometimes, I feel like maybe I could fix the problem faster.
I had merged into the group once. One of my friends was being cut off a lot but I did nothing to let people listen to them. The worst thing was that I also contributed. It felt horrible, like there was a rush of competition on who can get out the most witty and valuable comments in before others. Instead of a survival, it was a race of the fittest with the ability to stomp on others. I shall never take or represent a role such as this ever again.
Gaaah, whatever, oneday I will have to start looking out for myself. I always have to wait for people to speak before I do, and when they finish, someone else barges in. There are obvious clues of a line there, hey. Maybe I need a face for myself, paid at minimum wage. All they need to do is speak, and I'll quickly hand notes of what to say.
And there's another thing. Everybody's looking for people with leadership quality skills. Come on, is that realistic? If everybody in the world were leaders, nuclear missiles would be flying through the air. I believe that people should be looking for people with group cohesion, "quality" skills. Where one can change for different circumstances, swap leadership roles. Having the ability to not only speak out, but to listen to others, have good relationship skills, u know the basics of social living. Not for the production line of Ford.
Labels: emotions
posted by Hache at
8:49 PM
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